Though some apples, I confess, are supremely delicious, it is my opinion that very few of them ever achieve such a state of perfection. They always seem to suffer some sort of imperfection that negatively affects their taste, whether it be sourness, watery innards, too thick a peel, or soft, over ripe mushiness (which your mother claims is "still good" when what she really means is that it is already bad and it would a waste to throw it out.) Let us bypass entirely the topic of worms.
My grudge against apples is particularly reinforced by a unique category of said fruit which, as well as being subject to all the aforementioned faults, is best described as "too appley". In apples, balance is paramount. Just as a watery apple is gross, an overly appley apple is disgusting. I was recently ambushed by one (dastardly blackguard!), and it ruined several subsequent glasses of milk. You see, appley apples linger. They cling to the tastebuds and interfere horribly with other tastes. Milk is, by nature of its exquisite beauty, rather delicate and therefore susceptible to their pernicious influence. If you can, stay well away from them.
- Four and Twenty Rooks in a Pie: The Essential Fairy Tale Cookbook by Jon Cook, Kitchen master and Chef-Marshall to the King
PS For those who were expecting even the slightest digression on "Gala apples", I must say only that the sternest remonstrances are reserved for you.
Hehe, but I like Gala apples. They aren't too appley, usually.
ReplyDeleteI only eat apples because they are healthy, or because my mother smothered them in various sweet stuffs and put them into a pie. I'd rather have a banana (a much more delicate taste) or some raw vegetable that has just been picked by myself. Yum.